You wonder why

"I don't understand how any person in today's day and age can just not get it."

"As soon as I left their house, I called my husband and I said, 'I'm on my way home. Get everyone out of the showers. I reak and I am taking a long shower as soon as I get home.' Ugh. . . I can't stand that smell."

"Even when I'm in the car, if someone is doing it in the car in front of me, I can smell that stink and I just wish I had air freshener or the light would turn green or something."



All three of the preceding quotes came from people associated with my work. One is from my boss. Two are from volunteers. All three are associated with a social services agency. Two received extensive training about the importance of not being judgmental. One has conducted that training for the past eight years.

And yet, they say those things. They are supposed to connect to families in need, to ensure that children are well cared for and that parents know how to care for their children. When they see horrific cases of abuse and neglect and yet they fixate on fucking cigarette smoke, I see a problem. And I seem to be the only person who sees the problem.

Why not criticize people for other equally stupid decisions? Say, for example, I follow my boss home and just go off every time she cooks dinner. . . "Ugh. . . I can't stand the smell of garlic." Or say I follow the volunteers around and go postal every time I catch a whiff of their cologne?

If people are going to wage war against smokers, do it on grounds of the effects it has to their health and on society at large (either in terms of environmental effects, lost productivity due to illness, or the magnitude of the health care expenses). If you want, talk about the effects of parents' smoke on their children; that would be highly appropriate. But please don't focus on the smell. And don't treat smokers as though they're ignorant or idiotic.

Sure, it's a stupid decision. But we all make them.

You wonder why people respond negatively to social service agencies? This is just a hunch, but my guess is that judging people doesn't exactly leave them inclined to listen to you or accept your help.