Part I

I want to conduct a social experiment. I want to grow a little person, and then deprive him/her of all meaningful social interaction for his/her entire life. That means no friendships, no relationships, no pets, no nothing. No one to confide in. No one to lean on. I want to know what happens when a person is truly all alone.

And I don't care whether the person is constantly surrounded by others. It doesn't matter. I want to know what happens when someone feels the desperation of true loneliness--the loneliness that can only be felt when surrounded by people that can only be described as strangers (even those strangers who think they're friends).

We all hide parts of ourselves. We all run from ourselves. We try not to self-disclose. We try to keep certain secrets. And some of us play this game more than others. But what would happen if we never self-disclosed? Would we implode? Explode? Have a nervous breakdown? Live happily ever after?

Unfortunately, due to the society in which we live, I would never be allowed to conduct my experiment. It would be seen as unethical to deprive a person of all emotional support systems and outlets. And as good as I am at spinning things, I'm not even sure I could come up with a convincing reason to put someone through that torture (or at least what I expect would be torture-- how would I know?).

Anyway, the point is that I can never really find out what it would be like. The best I can do is to walk myself through a thought experiment. I can imagine it. And I can write it. Thus, I am going to attempt the thought experiment. It begins with the following paragraph, and it may or may not continue in future entries. We'll see.

The Thought Experiment

She was a stranger in a room full of strangers. The others, they knew one another; but she was a stranger to each and every person in the room--including herself. Granted, she had lived with herself for her entire life, she had never suffered amnesia, and she could introduce herself well enough, but what did that tell? "Hello, my name is Katelyn McPherson." She worked for a marketing firm that specialized in advertising to children. She owned a cookie-cutter house in the suburbs, with beige siding and gray brick accents. She enjoyed planting flowers--particularly marigolds. And there wasn't much else to say. If someone had asked for more information, she wouldn't have known what to say. But then again, they wouldn't have known what to ask either. They only had so many questions for strangers.