Nihilism

I think I've finally reached that point in my life when I can no longer ignore human ugliness--when I can no longer ignore the world.

People get terrible, incurable diseases. People lose their jobs. People work their asses off and never get ahead. People try so very hard and they just can't do it--whatever it may be. Children die--both metaphorically and in reality--before they even get a chance to screw it up for themselves. And, in a lot of cases (not all; debatably, not even most cases), they don't really seem to deserve what life (with the help of people) throws at them.

Even those who have helped us, who seem to have made a difference in our lives, get screwed over. And we, in turn, will screw others over. That's the way it goes. We're human--in all of our ugliness and cruelty and indifference, we are human.

It's funny (in that satirical, not-funny-at-all kind of way) how we're so capable of making things worse, but it's so terribly difficult to make things better. Want to contribute to global warming or allow genocide? That's easy. Want to stop either of the two? Good luck; you'll need it.

I think I've finally met the world. And I don't so much like it. And I don't know what use there is in trying any more.

Three cheers for growing up, becoming bitter, and realizing that life really is just one big exercise in futility.

It turns out, the white wall was black all along.

Cryptic

She stares at the black wall.
And when she closes her eyes,
She sees only black.

She stares at the white wall.
But when she closes her eyes,
She still sees black.